Fuck Exercise

Fuck it right in the ass.

Leaving Las Lincoln, Omaha, Poker Resumes Tomorrow

This is going to be shorter than I intended, but I actually accomplished a lot today and I have an interview in nine hours.

I'm glad I moved. I needed to move. I know that now because hindsight is 20/20. I really was in a funk for my final week or two in Lincoln because I wasn't sure about leaving. Nobody could have figured it out because I'm pretty good at cramming things down deep and putting on a smile, but I was torturing myself day in and day out. I don't know if I posted it on the blog, but there was a bout of insomnia that I had because of this. I would be exhausted, eyelids dropping like the final curtain at a play, and then the thought of moving would cymbal-crash its way into my head and I couldn't sleep. I think the earliest I went to bed was 6am during this period. I needed to move to grow up. I like most of who I am, but some things need to change. I'm 25. Time to stop living off of mommy and daddy and screwing around. I will still have plenty of fun and I'm sure I'll find ways to get myself into ridiculous predicaments because I can't seem to avoid them, but I was turning into the guy that I always made fun of. The 30 year old who still works some menial hourly job, boasting about his exploits and adventures while hanging out with 19 year olds. Scared. Afraid of diving into the world because there might be a shallow bottom. I realized this one night while we were drinking (shocker). Jeff said that I should move up to Omaha with him and the camera pulled back like I was in Men In Black. I needed to start over, and the first step was the symbolic gesture of actually moving and starting anew. I could've changed my ways in Lincoln, but it wouldn't have pushed me out of my comfort zone and I really needed somebody to tip my cage over. Water mixing with the food, shit falling off of my newspaper, the whole shebang. So here I am. I haven't closed the book on Lincoln yet; I really love that city. If I ever get ridiculously rich and famous, I'm going to show all of my rich and famous friends Lincoln. It will become the new haven because it really does have a lot to offer. Even if I don't become a tabloid superhero, I know that Lincoln is on down the road somewhere for me. I don't know when, but I get the same feeling that I do when I roll off of I-80 into Kearney. Hell, I was born in Lincoln. It's just as much home to me as Kearney. Even though both of those chapters are finished, a quick glance at the index will tell you that there is more to come. So I won't say goodbye to Lincoln, I'll say until next time.

My apartment smells like delicious. Not inside my apartment, although somebody did put up a Glade Plug-In in the hallway which gives off a pleasing odor, but outside, in the parking lot, it smells delicious. I haven't been able to pin down the smell, but it is some sort of baked good I think. It's fucking awesome. I'm starting to feel at home, although I really don't have any idea where I'm going when I leave my apartment. I have a rudimentary grasp on the cardinal directions, but I don't KNOW where I'm going, I just happen to get there. I know I need to go north and east, so I go north until I see something I know, and then I go east. I don't know that I'm going to take L to 680 to get up to Pacific, I'm just like a stumbling drunk who keeps taking the correct turns and somehow wakes up at home. Although tonight I started to feel connected to the city. I drove to the building that I have an interview in tomorrow so that I knew where it was. As I was driving with the windows down and listening to Someone (Thrillseekers Mix) by Ascension, I felt like I belonged. If you read Paul McGuire's blog, he just talked about this (August 28th post), which is sort of weird. I felt like I belonged right where I was at that very time. I sort of got this feeling my second night here. D'vo and I met up at Farrell's on 10th and Dodge to say goodbye to our friend Jake before he headed back to DC. It was about 5pm when we left Farrell's, and D'vo asked if I wanted to hang out at his place a few blocks away for a bit and then get dinner. We ate at the Upstream Brewing Company and had a few more beers. After that, we headed to a little place on the corner by his building and had a few drinks and a bottle of wine. We capped off the night by heading up to the rooftop deck and having a cigarette. It was really cool just bumming around downtown. It is the sort of thing that I hope to make a habit of. I've also made a habit of working out here. By habit, I mean I've gone two days in a row. I'm very sore. I'm going again tomorrow. I've come up with a little two day lifting routine, I'll do some sort of cardiovascular exercise five days, and I get weekends off. The new me will not be a fatass. I'm eating better, but it is really only a result of me being totally poor right now. Rice is only $1.89 a box for the good stuff, and you can get two meals out of it. Throw in a piece of chicken (three pound bag of frozen chicken breasts for $4) and you have a meal. Wash down with milk. I can eat that stuff for a week for like $10. It usually costs me $7 a trip to eat fast food. Ok, I've been typing this for nearly a half hour. Thank you for finishing this behemoth.

Update

I had intended to put up a big post on Sunday, but we had some technical difficulties that I didn't get sorted out until 3am Tuesday morning, so I haven't had a connection stable enough to attempt a blog post. I have one now, but I'm way too tired to put anything meaningful on here, but I wanted to say hello from Omaha. I promise I will put up an actual post tomorrow.

I also wanted to post my reading/listening items:

Currently reading: Infidelities by Josip Novakovich. I only got halfway through during school and want to finish it.

Currently listening to: The entire Soft Machine album by the Teddybears. This is a staple in my music collection. The Teddybears make music that is very different from everything else being done, blending an electronic element into all of their songs that creates these poppy little beats and choruses that you can't help bob your head to and you definitely can't the songs out of their afterward. Just listen to it.

I haven't played poker since I said I wasn't going to. I don't know how long it has been, but it feels good to get away. I do want to play again in the next two days, but I'm going to take it easy and cap myself at three matches. I also need to sneak in a few MTTs to get ready for the 15k loyalty freeroll.

Packing, Poker

I've spent most of today getting everything ready to move tomorrow. It's amazing how much I didn't unpack when I moved here. I'll have an actual substantial post on Sunday, until then it will be poker rantings.

Warning: If you don't like whiny, angry posts, just wait until tomorrow or Sunday.

Speaking of poker rantings: fuck this day. Fuck poker. I might play some more tonight, but I'm definitely taking tomorrow off. I've spent all day either getting set up or bad beat. By set up I mean losing my first $50 HU match because I had A2 on a K345 board and the other guy had 67. We both turn our gutshot, that's the cooler. In my next match, I had KJ on a flop of KK5 with one spade. I bet pot, got called. The turn was the 8s, I bet pot, I got called. The river came the 2s and I checked for some reason. The other dude put out a 1/3rd pot bet and I painfully called after the counter came on. Yep, AQss. That knocked me down to 4k in chips, which I got in with KK vs 22. 2 in the door, go skill! I won the third match because nothing horrific happened, but then again there was the fourth match. Three times I had the guy in for his tourney with three outers and he won all three. A7 vs A2, KQ vs K8, and AK vs A8. The AK vs A8 screwed me because it knocked me down to around 3k in chips, which I got in with TT vs his AA. I also dropped a match because I was crippled by the following hand: QJ vs 99. I raised preflop, he called. Flop KT5. I bet pot, he calls. Turn 9, I bet pot, he moves in, I call. River K. In my final match of the evening I had the guy down to 3k in chips with blinds of 150/300; 50. Things looked good until the poker gods decided to rape. In the last five minutes of the match, the guy got AA three times and flopped top pair five times. He also made two flushes and a straight. I want to feel good about taking so long to broke, but I actually just want to punch something. This anger stems from the fact that not one time today, not ONE time did I get my money in behind and win. I either got it in bad because of the aforementioned set ups or I got it in good and still lost. Somehow I'm only down $100. I say "somehow" because it feels like there were no victories to be had today. I played out of my mind and all I have to show for it is a bankroll that got reduced to $725.87. I miss that streak where things were going right. I'm not even asking for my hands to keep holding up and such, I just don't want to get fucked at every opportunity anymore. My butthole is sore.

Update, Poker

I've spent the past couple of days wrapping up the Lincoln chapter of my life. I've mainly be cleaning up my room and thinking of all the stuff that I have to do, such as forward my mail and so on. I took yesterday off from the rush and spent the evening at BW3's as a hostage. My roommates and I always go to leg night on Wednesday's, but yesterday they decided that they wanted to stay there for 5 hours for some reason. Needless to say I was somewhat peeved, but all I would've done was watch TV and play Internet poker anyway, so it wasn't a great loss. Despite the fact that I only had 3 beers, I feel really out of it today. I got a full night of sleep, but I could crawl back under the covers right now and crank out another 8 hours without rolling over. Too bad I actually have shite to do today.

I haven't hardly played any poker the past couple of days. I did put in 2 heads-up matches today, both wins, which puts my account back to $828.67. I really am starting to feel like a sick-o. I was playing in a tiny little MTT today and just knew what was going on at all times. My heads-up play has upped my aggressiveness and my online reading ability. I busted out of the MTT by making what I think is a great call very easily. I had ATo in the BB and it was folded to the button. The button limped and the SB called. I threw in a pot raise, the BB folded and the SB started thinking. It instantly clicked that if he moved in he had garbage. There would be no reason to limp a big hand here because there is a minimal chance that I'm going to raise. A call would have been scarier than a raise, but he moved in and I insta-called. He showed K9cc. The flop was a disgusting QJ4 with 2 clubs, telling me that I wasn't going to win. The river was the Ac to leave me with 400 chips and in the BB. Like I said it was a tiny tourney so I didn't care about losing the hand, but I felt good about making the call so easily. If I keep developing like this, good things are going to happen soon. More room cleaning.

Burnt, Interview, New Section, Poker

I'm still burnt. The discomfort should be gone in another day or two, but then the peeling begins. I hate the peeling.

I finally have my second interview with John Hancock. I have a lot of questions for them after taking the personality profile because it asked lots of questions that made me leery. Hopefully it goes well and I hear what I want to hear because I'd really hate to turn down the first job I've been offered.

Every Monday or Tuesday I'm going to be adding a new section about what I'm reading and what I'm listening to. For those of you who don't know me, I read a lot. Now that I'm out of school, I realistically should be polishing off two books a month quite easily. I say two because I don't want to set the bar too high, but it could be as high as six some months. As far as music, another note for people who don't know me: if I had a pleasure button on my brain, I would hit it constantly. Hence, when I find a song that I like, I will listen to it several times a day for a week or two. In the future, the section will be on top of the post, but for now, here are it is:

Book I'm Reading: Walt Whitman Selected Poems
Song I'm Listening To: Do You Right by 311

Poker has been bad again these past couple of days. I ran really bad against DymondBoy this morning which was a let down because I've really figured out his game. We played three matches. In the first, I had the chiplead at around 13k/7k. I was dealt 55 and raised it pot. He threw in a pot reraise which told me that he had JJ-AA. I called and we took a 467 flop. On this flop, I'm about 38% to win. He checked and I moved in. He slowrolled me like an asshole (because he's not good enough to pitch this hand) and I blanked out to put me way down. I then had three coolers laid on me where we both flopped top pair but he hit two pair with his weaker kicker or I had the weaker kicker. I am very proud of the first match because I should've gone broke on six separate occasions but managed to get away from my hand. In the second match, I was down 8k/12k when I was dealt AA. He raised and I pot reraised. He called, and we took a 678 flop. I bet pot, he moved in and I insta-called. He showed 99, reversing the odds from the first match. Of course, he peels a T on the turn to lock it up for him and we're on to the third match. In the third, I steamrolled him pretty well but really wasn't in the frame of mind for a fourth match. He would've kept playing me, but today wasn't the right day to do that. I also dropped one of the sickest matches ever first thing in the morning. I played a guy that hit EVERY river. This is not an exaggeration. From the first hand I flopped top pair and bet pot pot pot as usual. He called and hit two pair on the river. If we showed down, the river card made his hand. It was disgusting. In a fitting end, we got all in preflop with my JJ vs his A5. Flop 489, turn T, river A. Go skill! I also got tired of waiting for my cashout to go through to transfer money to Full Tilt so I bellied up to a $1/$2 NLHE table at Bugsy's. I was up to around $135 when I got wrapped up in a bad hand. I had 72cc in the BB and it folded to the button. The button had been min raising every time this happened, so I called. We took the two handed flop of AT7. I'm pretty sure I'm winning here, so I checkraised him. The turn peeled a 3 and I bet pot again. He called. The river was a J and I checked. I actually put him on something like a QJ for a gutterball or 78 for open-ended. Both would've hit to beat me. He put me in for another $50 and I painfully folded. He claimed to have had me beat the whole way, but I honestly don't believe it. I built back up to around $65 when I busted with A5. Again I was in the BB, but the person to the right of the guy in the previous pot had been raising tons of unopened pots from late position as well. We took a flop of AJ8 and I led out. He called and the turn peeled a 2. I led out again and got reraised for my last $20 or so. I have to call here, I did, the river blanked and he showed AJ. I'm not unhappy with my play, but it would really be nice to run the next $100 up to $3-400. Although it will be awhile for the next $100 cash game venture as my roll is currently at $751.17 and I'm not taking another $100 until I hit $1200 again. It probably won't happen until after I move. Have a good day.

Fried, Poker

This will be very short for me.

We went golfing at 11:45am today after staying up until 7:30am. I played terrible. I got fried. I'm going to be very sore very soon.

Poker has been ramping back up. Short story: a jackass that will remain nameless (knat33) beat me in 2 straight $50 matches with garbage. In the 3rd he asked if I wanted to up the stakes next match, I said no, he started calling me scared and making fun of me. I absolutely decimated him in that match and the 2 subsequent matches. I can't even find him on the site anymore. Another person that plays the $50 heads-up matches a lot told me that I'm probably the best person he has ever played in heads-up. Ego +2. Bankroll at $795.15 with the pending $105 cash out. More tomorrow when I'm too sore to do anything except sit in front of my computer.

Roll With It, Women, Melancholy, Poker

I was talking to a friend today on the phone and I was struck by an odd sense of pride. She was telling me about a friend of hers that is really struggling with his grandmother's cancer. She was just diagnosed, and he thinks it's grossly unfair and too soon. She's 73. Granted, the life expectancy of a woman born today is 80.97 years, but back in 1934 it was 68.45. This may seem cold, but the fact is that this guy still would willingly sacrifice his own life for his grandmother to live a few extra years. The more I type, the more I sound like a heartless prick, but the point I'm trying to make is that I felt proud because I'm able to roll with the punches that life deals me. I get sad and I get angry just like everybody else, but as I discussed in a previous post, I'm able to internalize everything and move on. This guy's grandmother still has a year or two to live, but he might not ever be the same. I still don't understand it. The pessimist in me thinks of the saying "Life's a bitch and then you die." While the saying omits some important facts (there's lots of neat stuff along the way), it gets at the basic idea that life is entropic. We all die, which means all things end. Maybe one day when we have nanobots they will be able to slip inside our bodies and just rebuild our worn out parts, but until then we have to deal with losing things: losing the girl, losing our former physical abilities, losing loved ones. The people that dwell just speed up their own end by standing still and letting time pass, and the shitty part is that there's nothing you can say to people to fix them or help them. I never believed in the saying "You can't help somebody who doesn't want to be helped," but as I've aged I realize that not only is that true, but you can't make somebody want to be helped. It seems to me that most people have this genetic kill switch built in that causes them to shut down when they encounter emotional adversity, and there's no reset button. This guy will probably never get over his grandmother's death. My friend will probably never get over her mother's suicide. James and Matt won't get past their grandmother's death. I'll lose more friends and my parents and it will floor me. But I'll get up and float on because I choose to.

I'm tired of the women that I want not wanting me in return. That's all I have to say about that.

In case you haven't noticed, this post is more melancholy than usual. I have some plans this weekend with a high likelihood for shenanigans, so the rain clouds will pass shortly, I promise. If not I'll just "lie" and post a happy, goofy blog and you will never know the difference.

Speaking of rain clouds, fuck probabilities. They get too many vacation days a year. They must live in Finland. I got destroyed today and ended up WAY negative in heads-up matches. I'm winless is $100 matches, which doesn't help things. A fatty 0-2 effort today didn't help the bankroll. I played a guy named PapaGanush6 (it did give me pleasure that he effed up Baba Ganoush) twice, and it was terrible both times. He was an all-in machine, which I typically chew up quickly. However, in the first match, I dwindled to around 8.5k taking and missing flops and folding to huge overbets and all-ins. I finally found AKdd and pot reraised his overraise after I limped in. He called and we took a flop of A22 with a pot of about 8k. He was first to act and moved in. I called pretty quickly and laughed when he flipped J2o. Nice call preflop. In the second match, I decided to fight fire with fire and reraised a lot of his overraises preflop. I worked him down to 7k when I doubled him. I raised pot preflop and he moved in for the whole 7k. I had 55 and beat him in the pot. He flipped A4, giving him a 30% shot. He spiked the A on the turn and I'm down to 6k. He hammered on me for a bit, getting me down to 2k in chips, but I ran it back to 12k on 3 all-ins with the better hand that held up. I worked it all the way up to 14k before he flopped a flush and I flopped 2 pair. Of course I paid him off because I'm not folding 2 pair to this guy pretty much ever. That left me at 6k, and he again worked me down near 4k. This time I picked off pots to get back to 8.5k when the bust hand came up. I had A9o on the button and I raised it to pot. He had just doubled me up, and when he doubled me he would always push the next hand. What I'm saying here is that I was trapping with A9o. I'm kind of a badass. He predictably pushed and I beat him in. He flipped Q9cc making me a sick favorite. 70/30 to be exact. Since I prefaced this with "bust hand," we all can figure that the Q spiked on the turn. For those of you keeping track, that's 0-5 in the last 2 days when the money goes in and I'm a 70/30 favorite. I don't want to do the math on the likelihood of dropping all of those because it will just make me angry, but I'm guessing it's probably something like 100,000:1 against. If somebody gets bored, figure it out and let me know. I also went probably -2 in $50 matches today in somewhat similar fashion, but I got pretty tired towards the end of the evening when I played those and can't recall the specific bust hands. I do know that I only put in bad 3 times tonight, and 2 of those were in the $100 matches, so I'm guessing the rest were garden variety "me missing draws or them hitting theirs" losses. I do remember one loss in a $50 came with my AKdd vs KsKc. He bet and I moved in over him on a flop of Qd 7d 6h, leaving me at 47% to win, but I blanked out. The only highlight of the day is that I won around $40 playing PLO/8. I'm going to get the $.10/$.25 PLO/8 running every day because the people who play it are just bad. Had I bet hands a little more loosely, I easily could've made $60, but I was understandably gun shy after my heads-up debacles. Ok, bed time.

Mosquitos, Job, Poker

I have possibly 20-25 mosquito bites on my feet and ankles. I didn't go camping or anything, it is simply how many times I got nailed in a limited time outside. One night, we watched a thunderstorm in our garage for about an hour. I got probably 10 bites. A few nights later, I went to Brandon's birthday in Hastings and was outside for a couple of hours, receiving roughly 10 more bites. Only on my feet and ankles. I have like 1 on my shin. None on my arms. I'd like to stick my feet under a floor sander right now, because they itch. Consumer alert: the Benadryl Itch Relief Stick blows. It does not relieve itch. It doesn't even phase itch. Itch meets Benadryl, kicks Benadryl in the nuts and makes out with Benadryl's girlfriend. Yet I keep dabbing it on, using the dabber as a surrogate itcher. Why do we even need mosquitos? I'm about to do some Wikipedia research because I'm fairly certain that mosquitos really have no benefit other than giving me annoyingly itchy bites and old ladies West Nile. Little buzzing bastards with their bastard proboscii. My bitterness may seem extreme, but you don't look like you have herpes on your ankles. Stupid nature.

I talked with my potential future boss today. I barely passed my personality test. I'm not quite sure what that means. I barely have a personality? Regardless, I have to take it again. If I do well, I could go up tomorrow for a second interview. I'd really like to get this job. It sucks for the first 3 months as you are on a tiny stipend, but after that it is $28,000 plus commissions for the first year. The average for the first year agents in that office is $55,000. I like that number. If I get offered the job, I do have to get my life insurance license right away, followed by my Series 6 license within 3 months. Here's hoping.

This has been an infuriating day of poker. I'm playing fantastic and getting fucked every time I get somebody to put their money in. I got over $1200, so I cashed out $100 to take to Full Tilt, but it will be almost a week before I can get it over there. In the meantime, I played a few $50 matches, my first $100 match, and some $.10/$.25 NLHE. I'm even on $50 matches (1-1 I think, possibly 3-1, it's been brutal) and 0-1 on my $100 matches. In my first $50 match, I had the guy down to 5k in chips. I had ATo, raised pot and he called. The flop was 678 with 2 spades. I bet pot again and he moved in for another 2.5k. I thought that he was on the straight draw so I called. He flipped A5o and I'm 72% to win. The turn peels a Js, making me almost 89%, but the river is a red 5 and we're back to even. Puke. 3 hands later I flop top pair with QTo on a T84 board, he moves me in and I call. He has J9. He hits the Q on the river, good game me. My next $50 match went the same way except I had the guy down to like 3k before I would double him, so after 3 tries he finally missed a 3 outer and I won. In my $100 match, I worked the guy over and quickly got him down to 6k. I was being super LAG, so I raised the button with 96o. He called and we took a T96 flop. He bet pot, I raised, he moved in and I obviously called. He showed T3o, making me a 73%. Turn K river T. Puke again. I work back up to 9k when the bust hand came up. I had A9hh and we take an Ad 5h 3h flop. He bets, I raise, he pushes in and I beat him in the pot. He shows 55 and I'm in bad for the first time all day, although I still can't blame myself because if he doesn't have a set I'm favored against even a bigger A. Well, a coin flip I guess, but I'm still going with it. The turn is a 3 and I'm dead to an A. I blank. The guy said what I hate the most, "Sorry." I hate it when people say that. They're not sorry. They're ecstatic that they donked their way into my money. If anything, they feel ashamed that they won, but there is no way you're getting that money back. He said that I flat out crushed him and that he won't give me a rematch. Real fucking sorry. Cash games went the same way. I profited this morning, but this afternoon is a fantastic -$40. The first $20 went on the following hand: I had AKdd in mid-position with a raise in front of me. The raiser is a super LAG retard, so I reraised. I got a caller behind and instantly thought QQ while everybody else folded. We took a 9d 7d 2s flop. Because of the player, I was almost positive that he had QQ. I'm 55% against QQ, so I wanted to get it in. I checked because I knew he had to bet and he did. I moved over top and he started bitching about how he got set up with QQ vs AA or KK. I actually thought he might fold, but he made the call and I blanked. Sweet. The second $20 went as follows: the same raise-tard that originally raised in the previous hand raised again. I had QQ in mid-position and reraised pot. It folded back to him and thought for a long while before moving in. I beat him in the pot. The flop brought an A and I thought I was screwed, but it was the J on the turn that boned me as he had JJ. I'm taking at least a 2 hour break because I want to steam right now and that would simply be too costly. Further, there's no point to push through right now because it's just not my day. If I don't hit it again tonight, I'll definitely get on it tomorrow. Just so sick.

Work, Warning, Birthday, Poker

I called in sick on my last day at Best Buy. I didn't want to, but I put myself in a pickle. I knew that Brandon's wife was throwing a surprise birthday party on Saturday, but I figured that since I would go several weeks without being scheduled that they definitely wouldn't give me shifts after I put in my 2 week notice. Of course they scheduled me to close on Saturday, and I simply couldn't find anybody to work for me. I really felt bad about it, but in the end, it was something nice that I could do for a friend versus something nice that I could do for an organization that I don't want to be a part of anymore.

The birthday party was fun. James got pulled over on the way there. A State Patrol officer was waiting on the overpass for us at the South Locust exit for Grand Island. We turned off there and headed for Doniphan and he followed us. He pulled us over in Doniphan. We were totally baffled. He came up to my window and said that he stopped us because somebody had called us in from Interstate and said that we were obviously, visibly drunk. Ok. Since we weren't, we gave each other a dumb look. I laughed. Then he asked for both of our licenses and told James to come back to his cruiser with him for his warning. He gave James a warning for going 38 in a 35 when we hit Doniphan. He didn't ask him where we had been. He didn't give him a breathalyzer or sobriety tests. He did ask where we were going and told us to have fun. Very odd, yet quite funny.

After that little break in the action, we made it to Brandon's in-laws for his party. It was fun. There was grill food and beer and all sorts of games. We talked quite a bit. Afterward, most of us went down to Vincent Michael's, a sort of trendy, upscale bar in Hastings. After that, we went to Brandon's house and tried to finish off the keg. The keg won. Handily. In a rare twist of fate, the wives and girlfriends decided to get sloppy drunk and needed attending. It was the first time in a long time that I was glad that I was single. We crashed at Brandon's and went to Nick's Gyros for lunch today. Nick's is a delicious Greek place from Kearney. Apparently the owner, Nick, sold his business in Kearney and moved to Hastings to open up a new one. James was impressed. I highly recommend lovers of gyros to stop by Nick's if they're ever in Kearney or Hastings.

I've been playing quite a bit the past couple of days, and I've been raking it in. I've started playing some small cash games around the $.10/$.25 limits so that I don't lose more than $20 in a sitting. I'm trying to earn more rebuys into the Loyalty tournament that I talked about a couple of days ago. At the pace I'm going, I might actually get 3-4 rebuys, which should give me a decent shot at winning the thing. In my heads-up matches, I've cooled off quite a bit, but I'm still crushing. I'm probably around 65-70% conservatively, and I haven't lost 2 in a row yet (that I can remember). I've actually had 2 people tell me that they don't want to play me anymore because they can't beat me, which causes the ego to swell a bit. It takes quite awhile to get people to play, but if I put in 8 hours I can get 6-12 matches. I hope those same people will play the $100 matches that I will be into within the next 2 days. Right now I'm sitting at $1,090, and if I can manage to not lose this hand that I'm playing at NLHE right now, I'll be over $1,100. I'm really happy with what I've been able to do so far, and I hope I can keep it going. It would be sweet if I can get to at least $5,000 this time around. Is $10,000 out of the question? I'll try not to think about it. Too much.

Story, Jaded, Poker

James told me a story today, I remember it nearly verbatim. Warning: the following content is somewhat graphic, yet still hilarious. "Donnie penetrated Wallingford's dog. He took her outside to meet Don and he said it wasn't even 10 seconds. There was no sniffing. Don saw his dog and popped out a piece of bubblegum. Then he just mounted up. He shouldn't be getting red rockets anymore, he doesn't have any nuts. He shouldn't want to hump things. So I don't think Wallingford will bring his dog over anymore."

The more that I've thought about my poker losses the other day, the more it bothers me. Well, it sort of does. I'm bothered by the fact that I'm not bothered. I lost $100 in like 15 minutes, 20 tops. I wasn't even mad. I was like "Whoops, lost all my money. Hey Matt, do you want to go get food?" It should have bothered me, but it didn't. I'm still bothered if I lose money that I really need. I've never taken rent money to the casino or put it online, so I'm good there, but I've definitely blown every free cent I've had a time or two. I imagine things will change when I start going to work every day and begin my life as a big boy.

Despite the $100 loss, I'm back to $860. I won a $2 NLHE MTT today that had around 30 people in it for just under $30. I also ended up 3-2 in $50 matches. I played too weak-tight in the first one, won the second, got coolered in the 3rd, and won the fourth and fifth pretty handily. In the third match, I think the worst hand my opponent showed down was 3 of a kind. If there was any possible straight on the board he had it, and he made several monsters when I had big hands. Flush vs my straight and so on. It's going to happen, it's just frustrating when it does. I sat on the list for another one for over 2 hours and nobody joined, so I played some $.50/$1 limit HOE for awhile. I rode the rollercoaster and ended up winning like $17. On September 7th there is a $15,000 loyalty freeroll on Bugsy's with first place paying $3,900. It will pay through 40 spots, and even the last money spot gets $90. Unfortunately, it is a rebuy like the majority of Bugsy's tourneys, and it has a bad structure. It is 500 points for an entry and a rebuy for each additional 500, capped at 9 rebuys. I'm trying to hit 2 rebuys for the tourney, as I think that should be enough to give me a good shot at winning, but it will be hard to get it in before the 7th. Each $50 match only earns me 12.5 points, so I would need to play like 44 more to reach my goal. If I want more rebuys, I need to start playing some small cash games, even though I don't really want to. Tomorrow I hope to get to $1,000 for the first time in way too long. Once I hit $1,200, I'm going to take another $100 to Full Tilt and bump up to $100 matches. Hopefully we'll see me on TV in like 2 years. That, or I'll do something stupid in like 2 months and blow it all again.

Job Fair, Fat, Whitman, Poker

I went to a job fair in Omaha with a friend today. It was totally worthless. It was put on by Monster, and their e-mail really hyped it up. "Bring at least 20 resumes!" Funny, there were only 18 companies there. There were only 3 or 4 places that I was even interested in working at, and I have an interview with one of them tomorrow. I'll be interviewing with John Hancock Financial Network. I had always thought that they were an investment firm, and they are, but they also deal with life insurance as well. I'm not sure if I'll like it, but that's what the interview is for, right?

I'm getting fat. I'm probably already there, but I prefer to say that I'm getting there. Our new apartment has a workout room in the basement of the main office, so I'm going to hit that up when I move, but until then I've started eating less. It sucks. I like food. Food is delicious. Because food is delicious, I want to keep eating it even though I'm full. This is what has made me fat. Eating less will help solve this, but until my stomach shrinks, I'm pretty much constantly hungry. I have purchased some Wheat Thins to munch on in between meals. Good luck me.

I've started reading a short book of Whitman poetry that I have had lying around for a couple of years. I'm diving into Harry Potter next, but I finished the Carver book one night after Barnes and Noble was closed and I needed something to read. I should finish it sometime this week, so I'll write more when I've read more than 10 pages.

I followed through on my plan of taking $100 to Full Tilt and trying the $.50/$1 NLHE heads-up tables. It lasted for about 15 minutes. I learned quite a bit though, so I'm not at all bothered. What I learned by both playing and watching is that I need to be aggressive, but I need to play small-pot poker. The people at that level aren't comfortable raising and reraising without big hands, so there won't be a lot of tough decisions for me to make yet, and there won't be a lot of bluffing. To make big money the next time I try those games (when I hit $1200), I'll just need to play lots of hands and take down all of the small pots while waiting for my flopped sets and straights to get paid off. I'm waiting at a $50 heads-up at Bugsy's, but I' don't have any takers and might just call it a night and play some pitch with the roommates. I'll give it 5 more minutes.

Parents, Carver, Poker

My parents stopped through Lincoln today on their way back to Kearney. It was sort of a debacle. I didn't eat lunch, because I figured that they would stop through at around 12 or 1, so I waited. At 3pm my mom finally called saying that they were on their way. I initially wanted to go eat at Famous Dave's, but my dad didn't want to drive across town. I settled for the Red Fox. As I'm driving there, they call me and say that it doesn't open until 4:30. Sweet. So I call Brandon, who used to live out at Capitol Beach, and he tells me to try The Other Room on Sun Valley. If you guessed "Not Open on Sundays," you win this round. So then we drive back toward West O to the Sun Valley Bar and Grill. Bar open, grill closed. We finally broke down and drove to Old Chicago down in the Haymarket. I'm so glad we tried to save time by staying out on West O. Anyway, after we got there, I had fun. I enjoy spending time with my parents now that I'm older. In high school, I didn't get along with my dad and my mom seemed overbearing and embarrassing. They've loosened up a little, and I've stopped being a rebellious dick, so we have lots of fun now.

I finished the Carver book. I admire the way he absolutely resists instances of epiphany. I can see clever little spots in his writing, passages, sentences, that have greater meanings. A man shutting the door to his house is really shutting the door to on his past life, things of that nature. However, the overwhelming majority of the stories feel like he didn't know how to finish so he just stopped. His character is on the verge of realizing something and then looks out the window and then period, page break, new story. The character doesn't see anything symbolic. The fuse burns down into the firecracker but nothing ever explodes. I'd appreciate it if somebody would tell me what I'm missing.

I beat luck today for the first time that I can remember. I played the longest heads-up match that I have ever played today, and after about an hour and fifteen minutes I finally locked it up with JJ vs TT AIPF (I went back and looked at the structure of games and the previous long was right at an hour, my bad). We started off ridiculously even, with neither of us cracking 11k in chips in the first level. In the second level, he cracked my QQ when I got cute on a KKJ flop. I put him on a J and tried to milk it for all that it was worth. He bet pot and I called. The turn was an 8 and he bet pot again. I just called, and we took a 9 on the river. Here, he bet 500 into the pot of nearly 3k. This is what he typically did when he had a big hand, but I was baffled because he previous betting was atypical. I just called and he flipped T7 for a runner-runner gutterball. Sweet. I then proceeded to miss everything for the next 30 minutes. I never dipped below 6k because I floored it and stole every pot that he didn't bet at, which kept me afloat. I finally caught a break with AA. I raised and he called. We took a J high flop, he bet, I moved in, and he called with AJ. I held and was up to 13k. The very next hand I had J9o and we took a J high flop. He min bet, I raised pot, he moved in, and I called. He flipped QJ and I blanked to go back in the shitter. I did everything I could to get chips and finally got him to call an all-in with KJ vs my A6 on an AK8 flop. That put me at 12k while blinds were 200/400; 50. I took the next two rounds of blinds and that's when I won with the JJ. When I say I beat luck, it is because I had nothing. I had AA once, QQ once, JJ once, and TT twice. I wasn't dealt AK at all. I made 1 boat, 2 flushes, and 1 straight that we both had. It was sick. If the guy would've been more aggressive, it would've been over after 20 minutes. Instead, I peeled off another win, putting me on a streak of something like 5 wins again. My bankroll is now at $899.95. On the 1st of August, I had around $330. I don't know how much longer I can keep this up, but I love it. I played another guy today that paused halfway through the match to inform me that he wouldn't be playing me again, and if he felt the urge, he was just going to send me $50 instead. I have good notes on him. As soon as my new ePassporte account gets verified I'm going to transfer $100 to Full Tilt and try my luck at the $.50/$1 NLHE heads-up games over there. If I lose it, I'm done with that site until my Bugsy's roll hits $1200. I know that most of you either don't read this or don't really care, but I hope that you have been lately, and that you've been enjoying this current great ride as much as I am. I know it's going to stop. I don't want to think about it, but I know it will. At the moment, I feel invincible at the table, and it is definitely showing in my play. I'm making great reads and great laydowns, which is helping to keep this rush going. However, I need to get to bed now because I have to work in 6.5 hours. I won't sleep well though, because I'll just be waiting to play again tomorrow night. Doyle Brunson once said that he always slept better when he lost everything because he wasn't itching to play again. I've never really had that strong of an itch before, but I have it now, and I love it. Good night.

Going Away, Roommates, Poker

My going away party was fun. I got drunk. We had a bunch of shots and beers. Not all that many people stopped by but we did it right regardless. Afterward, we went over to Jenna's house for after hours. Jeff was a little disheartened because he really wanted to go downtown, but I think he still had a good time. At 3ish, Steve, Jeff, and I went to Perkins. It was pretty busy. There was a group of younger college guys in there, 5 guys and 1 girl. There were being obnoxious and loud, and Steve and Jeff spent the whole time glaring. I was conflicted because while they were annoying, I'm sure I've been loud and obnoxious in Perkins at 3am before. I ended up just cracking jokes and devouring my food when it arrived.


I was somewhat amazed that I didn't try and instigate something with the obnoxious group. I'm not a fighter, and I typically avoid confrontation, but the night started poorly. Brandon and I went to dinner before the party, and as we were pulling away from my house James yelled at me to move my truck. I had been home with him for well over an hour, and spent about 10 minutes talking to him in the driveway before we left. He chose to wait until we were literally driving away to mention this. I told him to just get my keys and move it himself. Naturally, he moved it a couple of blocks away. Also, before I left I threw some clothes in the dryer that I wanted to wear to my party. After I left, Matt took my wet clothes out of the dryer and threw them in with my clean clothes that were sitting in a basket in the laundry room. They didn't understand why I was pissed. The truck thing didn't bother me because I like a good practical joke, but it goes a little more than that. Out of all of the people that we know, I'm the one person that they screw with. Essentially, they treat me like their bitch. That doesn't fly. I love joking with my friends and playing jokes and such, but there has to be an underlying respect. With Matt and James, I don't really think there is anymore. Maybe they'll figure it out. Maybe it's time to move on. Who knows.

The last 2 days have been ridiculously good to my bankroll. I've been playing really well, and I've also been running really hot. After the really rough string of beats that I took, I peeled off 5 straight wins to get back up for the day. The next day, I played 2 more matches and won both of them. Today, I won my first 2 matches as well, making 9 straight wins, which is pretty insane. A couple were luck. Brandon witnessed my ATdd beat a guy's J7 of a JT4 flop. We got all the money in and the river peeled off the miracle T. The day before I hit a lucky river Q when I got in bad with Q9o vs A8o on an Ax 4s 5s Qx board. The guy was incredibly aggressive, and I honestly thought I was winning the whole time. He was a bit peeved. Today my bankroll went over $550 so I started playing $50 matches. As I predicted, I lost the first one. Ten in a row is asking for a bit much. However, I've peeled off 3 in a row after the loss, making me 12-1 in my last 13 matches. It's pretty sick what happens when things start going your way while you're playing well. My bankroll is at $653 which means that it is time to peel off $100 and see how I can do at the $.50/$1 heads-up NLHE tables at Tilt. I can't let it infect my brain, but it I'd really like to have a combined bankroll of $2000 by this time next week. If I keep running this hot I could be at 5k by next Saturday, but we'll let those thoughts crawl back in the corner of my mind and snuggle up to the Carmen Electra sex dream and the Lamborghini that can turn into a boat and a plane.

1K, Apartment, Going Away Party, Poker

Finally. I hit 1,000 visits early yesterday. Only about 3 months after I had hoped that I would. Oh well. It has been neat seeing all of the different people that have visited my little crack in the Internet. I wish that more of them had commented, but I imagine that they will eventually.

Jeff and I didn't get the apartment that we wanted, but it sort of worked out better. The morning after we looked at it, somebody put a deposit down on it. However, we now have a different apartment on the first floor of a different building that is getting totally redone and has a better view. Things just work out sometimes.

I don't know if this is a useful place for announcements, but I'm having a going away party tomorrow (Friday) at Sadie's Saloon on 52nd and O. It will start at 8pm, and end whenever it ends. I'm not sure if we'll stay there all night or not, but come on down, it will be fun.

I couldn't possibly be more angry right now. I just got fucked by God himself. I played a heads-up match where I had my opponent in 3 times with the worst hand and he won every time. He first beat my AA with 94o when I put him in on the turn on a board of T874. River J. Next, I had him in with Q2 vs my 67 on a Q67 flop. River was the Q. Puke. Now we're even again, and we stay that way for quite awhile. I have ever so slight of a chip lead when I have AK. Flop comes A67. I check because I think he has an A and he checks behind. The river peels a 5, I check, he bets pot and I raise pot, leaving him about 1k behind when he calls. The pot is nearly 17k. The river is a 4, for a final board of A7654. He moves in and I have to call. He flips A3 and I wanted to my fist through my fucking monitor. I don't understand how odds can skew that far off. The first hand I was probably 35% to win. The 2nd hand, maybe 25%, the last hand, maybe 20%, and he went 3 for 3. I shouldn't be playing another match but I simply can't end on that note. I lost the first match that I played today because I played like garbage, but now I'm in a rematch with the dude. He's a Hellmuthian prick that thinks that everything that he does is genius and that everything that I do is garbage and lucky. This ends poorly for him this time around.